The curmudgeon came into the General Store and announced that he had a tale to tell and asked Mr. and Mrs. Store-keep, plus Bread-man, Beer-man, and the Postman to take a few minutes to listen his story.
“It seems,” said Curmudgeon, “that a small brown bat, from over near Rock City, accidentally fell to the ground while flying over a family gathering of Stoats. The Stoats were having a high old time just drinking and bar-b-cuing on the side of a mountain.
“One very crafty Stoat, by the name of Fred, was standing to one side and talking to another Stoat named Billy Bob. Fred and Billy Bob talked on and on about the weather, politics, and the benefit shopping at Wal-Mart. Then Fred, feeling something at his feet, looked down to see the Bat. Not wishing to share this delicacy, Fred told Billy Bob that his wife was calling him.
“After Billy Bob has wandered off, Fred reached down and picked up the Bat and began to open his mouth for a tasty treat. But the Bat refused to give in and begged for his freedom.
“Fred Stoat listened to the Bat but said that just on general principles, he couldn’t let any Bat go free because the Stoats were sworn enemies of every bird that flew. Then remembering some recent chickens, added that the Stoats also ate birds that didn’t fly, but only walked.
“But the Bat cried out that he was not a bird and flapped his wings, and as he talked he quickly folded his wings and covered his fangs with his upper lip, then smiled at the Stoat.
“Thus Fred Stoat admitted that the Bat was a rodent and let him go.
“Sometime later, the Bat was lolly-gagging around the sky and dove to catch a Miller Moth, but missing the Moth he flew onto the ground and was caught again, this time by one of a bunch of Ferrets who were attending a catfish fry at the mayor’s home.
“The Ferret said he would never let a Mouse survive because all Ferrets hate mice but when the Bat began to flap his wings and cried out that he wasn’t a mouse, the Ferret let the Bat free.
“Now the Bat began to be a bit cocksure about his seeming ability to fight off enemies, and in so doing forgot where he was flying and lost track of his altitude and suddenly he flew directly into the feathered hat of a very large woman who was attending an evening reception for the Master Gardeners.
“The woman cried out ‘EEEEEEK!’ and tearing off her hat, threw it and the Bat into the punchbowl whereupon the plunge into icy brew snapped the Bat back to reality and before the woman could marshal her forces, he flew up into the evening sky.
“But this time, due to the excitement and the effects of the lingering punch, the Bat was not paying close attention and wound up on the clutches of an Old Owl.
“The Owl immediately said that he loved to eat bats and the bat said he wasn’t a Bat but a Mouse and the Owl said that he loved to eat Mice, too.
Moral: Look which way the wind is blowing before you commit yourself.
