Written by – “What’s Nana doing, Emmie?”
“Oh, she’s reading stories to my baby brother trying to get him to go to sleep,” answered the six year old granddaughter. “I’m too big for stories, aren’t I Papa. I get to stay up late don’t I?”
“You can stay up a little late but not real late because we have a lot to do tomorrow. And, no, you’re not too big for stories. All kids love stories no matter how old they are. I bet you’d like to hear the story of what Nana and I were doing thirty five years ago today.”
“Okay, Papa, just as long as I don’t have to go to bed now. I want to stay up and have fun.”
“Well, this story is pretty long and it is a fairy tale.”
“I thought you said it was about you and Nana?”
“It is. It’s a fairy tale about us silly.” He laughed and tickled his granddaughter in her ribs. “Today is our thirty fifth wedding anniversary and it’s a fairy tale come true since we lived happily ever after and got such good little grandchildren like you and your brother Noah.” He tickled her again and while she was squirming and giggling said, “Now calm down. You’re getting all worked up. Don’t you want to hear the story of our wedding.”
“Okay, Papa. Tell me,” she giggled. Then furrowing her brow, squinting her eyes and in deep thought, recalling something said, “Yes I want to hear the story about how you and Nana got married. My mom and dad always laugh about it every time when they talk about it. They think it’s funny. But they won’t tell me anything because they say I’m too little. They promise to tell me when I’m bigger but they won’t say when that is. I’m not too little, am I Papa?”
“Nooooo you’re not and I’m going to tell you, so here goes.”
“Once upon a time there was this charming handsome young lawyer prince, that’s me, and there was this beautiful charming young real estate agent princess, that’s Nana. Well they met at this real estate closing and the whole time the the princess kept batting her eyes, flirting and smiling at the young prince. So much so that he couldn’t concentrate on the closing. He was so entranced by her beauty that a couple of times he forgot what he was doing and had to start over and then kept repeating himself. Finally, the closing was over and the young princess approached the young lawyer prince and said to him, ‘Kind Sir I have a problem with an upcoming closing and I need a white knight in shining armor to save this real estate sale for me from falling through as I should stand to lose a fortune in commissions if it should so happen.’”
“’I am your knight fair damsel and at your service. What beeth your problem?’”
“The beautiful princess explained her problem to which the young prince answered. ‘Fear not, fair maiden, for I can save the deal for you and thus your commission.’”
“’My hero!,’ she sighed.”
“After the young lawyer prince saved the princess’s deal, he began to call upon the princess at her apartment castle and soon they fell in love and became engaged.”
“’Let us fly away to enchanted Lake Tahoe and be wed,’ he proposed.”
“’Yes let us,’ swooned the princess.”
“But the people were upset. Such a scandal, these two unmarried youth flying off to marry in a foreign land. To be married at a chapel in Tahoe and not married before God in a church. The people were outraged. But the real reason was that the people felt cheated out of a royal wedding feast, wine and song.”
“Nevertheless the young couple were in love and had made their plans accordingly. They were adults and could make their own decisions and they flew into the sunset to beautiful Lake Tahoe. There they took a dinner cruise on the lake, the pictures which were taken thereon the princess cherishes to this day.”
“Finally it came time for the wedding. The princess, trying to accommodate the wishes of her king and queen parents, who wanted them to have a church wedding, tried to find a minister to wed them. But alas none could be found. Oh, what would she do? She would have to be married in one of those cheap and cheesy wedding chapels after all.”
“The first wedding chapel they came to advertised: ‘When In Tahoe Actor Mickey Rooney Weds Here.’ ‘Oh dear,’ thought the couple we can not be married here. This place is cursed. Mickey Rooney has been married at least an unlucky seven times.’”
“The second wedding chapel was a drive-through chapel, just like driving through McDonald’s. ‘Oh no, they thought, this is too fast, just like fast food. Order a number four, pay at the window, get married by the cashier-minister and drive away married. It took longer to read the ten menu options than to get married. No this wasn’t for them.”
“The third wedding chapel they came to was called the Viva Las Tahoe. ‘Sounds like Viva Las Vegas, that Elvis song,’ said the princess. ‘Ooh, let’s get married here. I just love Elvis.’”
“It was an actual, real Elvis chapel. The room was decorated with posters and nostalgia everywhere to commemorate Elvis. It was garish and gaudy just like Elvis and Elvis music continually played softly in the background. The princess loved it.”
“’Oh let’s get married here,’ repeated the princess, for the princess had been a big Elvis fan when she was a young maiden. She had many of his records and had seen all his movies and had a big crush on him as a teenager. So the prince, in order to please the wishes of his bride-to-be, agreed that this was the place at which they would wed. So they paid their fees and got in line.”
“Many were ahead of them. One wedding party came in full tuxedos for the groom and groomsmen and the bride came in a white flowing beautiful wedding dress with the maids of honor in pink matching chiffon gowns. And all their family was present along with many friends. One party was just the two of them, he wearing a business suit and she a fashionable nice dress. Another couple both wore shorts. The groom wore a tee-shirt. The bride wore a tank top. Both wore sandals. The prince and princess were dressed simply in casual clothes.”
“Their turn came. At the front of the chapel was the minister, the Elvis impersonator. The prince and the princess had to walk down a long aisle to reach the minister. On each side of the aisle were Shirelle-type Nubian beauties wrapped in mini skirts that were as tightly fitted as the wrappings of a mummy. All the while they were singing and swaying to the music, ‘Going to the chapel and we’re going to get married.’ Their black shiny hair piled a foot high in beehive fashion upon their heads.”
“Finally, it was their turn. The Elvis minister in his Elvis voice sang phrases of all the Elvis songs into the wedding vows, Love Me Tender, Don’t Be Cruel, Teddy Bear, etc., etc. All but In The Ghetto, that is. When he finished and pronounced them man and wife, the minister burst into his Elvis finale song. Guess what it was?”
“I don’t know Papa.”
“Hunk A Hunk Of Burnin Love. And they lived happily ever after.”
“That story is not funny Papa.”
“It is when your Papa tells the adult version to grownups sweetie,” smirked Nana standing behind the two of them as they sat on the couch.
“How long have you been there?”
“Long enough,” she snickered. “Come on, Emmie, time for bed.”
“Awh,” the granddaughter whined.
“We’ve got a busy day tomorrow you need your rest. Come on now.”
“Good night sweetie,” said Papa, giving her a kiss.
Nana put Emmie to bed, tucked her in and gave her a kiss, too.
“What’s an elfis Nana?” asked the grandchild. “Is it like an elf?”
The Author’s stories have appeared in Romance Magazine, Heater, The Fable Online, Frontier Tales and other online magazines.
