Anything That Floats Parade

Mermaids, Pirates, and River Spirits… Oh My! Calling all artists and ’out of the boat’ thinkers! We want you to gather your crew and join us on the French Broad River on Saturday, August 10 for the wildest and most fun-tastic event of the summer! Be prepared for a day of wacky, tacky, kitschy, kooky, freaky, cheeky, show boats.

Creating a raft, float or flotilla with your free spirited friends is a unique chance to have a blast while showcasing your mind-blowing artistry. So, gather your crew and ’raft it up a notch’ by creating and building your one-of-a kind, handcrafted, floatable boat. Helping save and protect the French Broad River has never been more fun!

Register to participate by visiting this site: http://riverfestavl.brownpapertickets.com

Riverfest 2013

The Anything That Floats Parade is part of Riverfest 2013, held Saturday, August 10 in the French Broad River Park in Asheville from 1 p.m. to 7 p.m. The festival has an exciting line-up of music, dancing, hooping and juggling, along with food, beer, crafts and kid’s activities. Admission is free.

There’s a New, Fiery Redhead in Town

Meet the lovely Earlene Hooch, from Lick Holler, just outside of Asheville. She lives in a trailer park with her four crazy kids. Sadly, she is single at the present. Her ex-husband, Cletus ran off with a Waffle House waitress.

Like all good Appalachian women, Earlene loves her kids and her mama. God help the poor soul that ever tries to mess with either! She is spunky, a natural redhead, and always quick with a smile and a joke. And yes… she is a redneck… but she is the classiest redneck you’ll ever meet!

This is a tour you don’t want to miss! Get on the Bus – Asheville’s wildest ride provides hilarious and historic comedy bus tours.

Lazoom Tours, 1 Battery Park Avenue, Asheville. Call (828) 225-6932 for details or visit www.lazoomtours.com