Love & War
Twenty Years, Three Presidents, Two Daughters and One Louisiana Home
After more than a quarter century of living together, my ex-husband decided he wanted a divorce because my vote for Barack Obama proved that I was “un-American.” People invariably laugh when I relate this story. I can assure you it was not funny.
X’s development into a Rush Limbaugh clone took years. Like the frog in the gradually boiling pot of water, I didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. I write today in the vein of sharing “The Lesson Learned,” a caveat to others in a similar situation.
On the theory that the only thing more boring than a knee-jerk conservative is a knee-jerk liberal, I have long balanced my political reading with conservative authors and histories (including Mr. Lumbaugh’s books and those of Glen Beck, Anne Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, Sarah Palin, and George Will, among others).
I often reviewed these books in this column. (See Bush and Cheney in the White House by Peter Baker and other past reviews at www.rapidrivermagazine.com, and my current review of Charles Krauthammer’s collection of essays below.) I learned a lot, increased my understanding of the conservative view and broadened my perspective on the world in general, but no one writer made enough sense to me to change my political beliefs, honed by years of social activism and spiritual principles.
As luck would have it, now I’m single and dating – a Republican! Am I doomed? Is it possible for a Tea Party supporter to be happy with a woman who thinks they are idiots? I needed advice.
So I turned to the most political odd couple in the country – Republican Mary Matalin and Democrat James Carville. Married for 20 years – happily, it seems, to everyone who’s observed them – these two ought to have some advice about “mixed marriages.”
Matalin and Carver weren’t just political opposites, they were high-ranking professional political operatives whose opinions helped affect national policy. Republican Mary Matalin was the very loyal assistant to Vice President Dick Cheney in the George W. Bush White House. Democrat James Carville was “The Ragin’ Cajun,” President Bill Clinton’s campaign manager and apologist. I figured their new book – Love & War: Twenty Years, Three Presidents, Two Daughters and One Louisiana Home – would help me out.
I really enjoyed reading this book on audio where you could clearly differentiate the two wildly different and opinionated personalites: Mary (a big-hearted Earth Mother) alternated writing and reading her chapters with James, a hyperactive, acerbic, rat-a-tat comedian. (Not sure the book would have been as effective without their voices.)
But Love & War is not really about politics, which was disappointing. To me, the lack of more politics (a choice made maybe to broaden the book’s appeal?) instead reduced the story to an interesting, but basically generic celebrity marriage memoir.
James offered one secret on how the couple has been able to live together without killing one another, a piece of wisdom that did indeed make the book worth reading.
“It takes two to fight,” James says, “I won’t fight.” Doesn’t mean Mary’s politics, and her intense involvement with Dick Cheney at the highest levels didn’t make things difficult – it just means James refused to fight about politics.
At first I felt cheated to read an entire book and get only one piece of advice. But upon reflection, I realized Carville had given me a gem. To keep the peace, couples in a politically combustible relationship have to remember just one simple rule: “I won’t fight.”
Love & War: Twenty Years, Three Presidents, Two Daughters and One Louisiana Home; written by and narrated by Mary Matalin and James Carville; Random House audio; 9 CDs; 10.5 hours.
Things That Matter
Three Decades of Passions, Pastimes and Politics
If I could write one essay as brilliantly as conservative pundit and Pulitzer Prize-winning syndicated columnist (and Fox News contributor) Charles Krauthammer does, I could die happy.
His latest collection of essays covers his 30-some year writing career and runs the gamut of both personal and political topics. The book starts out with a remarkable memoir…born in Canada, educated at Harvard, liberal in politics, paralyzed from a diving accident, practiced as a psychiatrist, served as Vice President Walter Mondale’s speech writer, then became a conservative and full-time writer for conservative (some say libertarian) issues. In 2006, the Financial Times named him “the most influential commentator in America.”
The irony, for me, an unrepentant liberal, of Krauthammer’s work is that I agree with him often. He’s against assisted suicide and the death penalty (so am I). He’s also against the use of Spanish on an equal footing with English because the policy is creating bi-lingual separatist regions in the U.S. rather than polyglot societies of old. (I agree). On other things, we’re galaxies apart – global warming, the war in Iraq, Republican fiscal policy and the value of President Obama.
I highly recommend Things that Matter for anyone who’s curious about the conservative view stated in rational, non-strident, thoughtful language. Caveat here – you may not agree with Krauthammer but he’s such an elegant writer that you’ll want to listen to every word.
Things That Matter: Three Decades of Passions, Pastimes and Politics; selections read by Charles Krauthammer with George Newbern; Random House Audio; 10 CDs; 12 hours.