Enough

She dreamed
Of the day she would have
Enough courage
To drop her idea
Of the way it
Should be.
Then, she would step
Into the wild pool
And bathe into the
Joy
that only
This letting go
Could bring.
When her heart asked her,
“When will this be?”
She ran a thousand miles
Away
And finally over her shoulder looked
To see if it followed.

We throw bricks at
Our heart
As if we could
Break that Love.
And when we finally
Hold our own hand
And say to that
Mirror image,
“You, So beautiful
So beautiful”
Our heart
Will shine
And we will find that
Courage
Was enough
Was
Enough
All
Along

Building a Shrine

My life so far
Has been like
Trying to put a very large love
Through a pinhole.
I have tried to make myself
Small enough to fit into this world.
But finally the shell has rent in two-
And the shrine of my being has emerged.

We are guided home on an invisible thread-
One day the distance between our self and the hole
Simply
Disappears.

And then the love fits perfectly.

There is so much work to do in this world
When we could simply choose
To be estastically happy.
To take rocks and driftwood and build an altar
To all that is good inside of us-
And to set our one shining life
On fire.

Grief

Grief- my tag-along, noble friend
Grief- that I was born with.
Brought in from the tombs of Cairo,
Smuggled in from Las Crucas-
Nurtured into being on a reservation
Grief-
My wrenching, alcholic family-father-sister story.
I need you no more.
You have served me well.
Remembered my birthdays and Christmas-
Been there late at night.
I don’t know why I’ve outgrown your
Ashen, lonely colors.
Your pursed, down turned lips
Your empty house, blood red and rageful.
Rageful into the dusk and dawn of chained existence.
You serve me no more.
Go.
Go and find your peace
Elsewhere.
This
Heart
Is
Birthing
Love.

– from I Have Fallen in Love with the World and other poems by Tracey Schmidt, (2014)